2 months

i thought he forgot. he didn't but he just didnt bring it up. its not that its not important. its just that, there are other more important things (i forgot what he really said about this, but i understand anyway)..

we still made this day special despite our frustrations. we really have a liking for fields. it was nice to see stars in the sky, and it was really cold. he is still sweet as always. i feel secure and happy and satisfied. although it meant risking getting home later than my expected time. i felt safe anyway because i know he's with me..

it just struck me that knowing that i have someone really special in my life now, it also worries me that i might lose him again. being both forward-looking, two months seemed to just fly by past us. but for me, i savored every moment of it. recalling all the thoughts that crossed my mind, every little significant thing that happened. maybe i am immersing myself too much into it. but this makes me happy, and quite irrational at times. but still, i trust him and myself that we can get past into any hardships. i am just hoping for the best now..

talking resolves things

hmm.. today was a happy day, we were able to discuss a few important things.

it was quite a light day for me. thanks to the amf131 free cut. during our free time together, we bonded again in the roofdeck where it was insanely cold.

we were lucky to have chairs there so we were able to sit on somewhere. we were quite fearing of getting caught by some guards although we werent doing anything wrong. the fact that we were staying there when we're not supposed to, is well, unreasonable...

anyway, i told him i loved leaning on his shoulder. i really feel secured when i do so. although it feels awkward because my face becomes too close to him. its as if i was tempting him to do something that he fears i might be angry about..

another thing, we also agreed to lessen pda (if that's how you would call it since its not really that). its for our own good, i guess.. and he just wants to protect me..

we had another long tight hug before we left leong roofdeck. it felt like ages since we were able to do that, and it felt really nice and comforting.. i also felt his respect for me.. and for his self, i guess.. it is nice.

regarding the kiss thing, i told him, i wanted each to be special (although he argues that every day is special. really now. haha) so as not to lose the meaning. i guess that clears things up..Ü

one sad thing though... i wont be around on his birthday on the 24th.. that is, if our immersion sched will push through on the 23rd-25th.. i dont want to be selfish and prevent my groupmates to have an out-of-town immersion. so there, i had to be away. possibly without permission to use my phone.. i just have to make it up to him. when i told him about it, he wouldnt admit that it would be sad for him.. he was just trying to be understanding, as always.. but it would be really sad..

i just noticed while im writing all these down, my mind seem so fragmented.. nothing seemed coherent.. and everything sounded absurd.. i cant find the proper words to describe how im feeling. its unusual..

btw, it is our 2nd "monthsary" tomorrow. i dont know if he has plans, or if he even remembered.. im still fighting the urge to mention it to him. i dont know what to do. my plans for tomorrow are already hindered by my late execution.. so i guess, we have to do with what is available, which i have no idea what our options are.

on other things, i might be able to get full scholarship again for my fifth year. yey!Ü

monthsary daw e..

ayun.. so nagbonding kami kanina.. sobrang saya.. sobrang enjoy.. as in..

haayyy.. at first, nabwisit ako kasi sabi niya mallate daw siya.. 230 kasi yung usapan namin. pero malapit na mag-230 pero hindi pa rin siya nagttext.. so tinext ko na siya.. at sabi niya, mallate daw siya kasi nagkaproblema something sa bahay.. so fine.. tapos 330 na lang daw niya ko susunduin.. fine.. e di nag-aral na lang ako kuno ng ma187..

tapos yun, sinundo na niya ko. bagong gupit ang mokong, hahah.. nainitan daw e..
sinabi niya na rin finally na sa riverbanks ang tuloy namin.. ok fine..Ü medyo traffic nga, gaya ng sabi niya.. pagdating namin dun, naglaro muna kami ng basketball.. nakakangalay, 3 straight games.. pero nakuha ko rin yung pitik ng kamay ko, so natuwa naman ako..Ü

after nun, kain na kami.. tapos lumabas kami.. well, andun na yung surprise.. grabe, ano ba.. natutuwa talaga ako.. sobrang sweet.. pero sobrang corny.. pero sobrang sweet pa rin talaga, ok.. haaayyyy... kinasabwat niya yung brother niya para dalhin yung food dun, na luto ng mom niya (ok, family effort here).. tapos yun, may dala siyang sarong tapos umupo kami sa grass.. tapos kumain together.. haaayyy, ang saya.. ayun, tapos kwentuhan.. bonding.. ang saya lang talaga.. nakakarelax.. masarap lang siya katabi, habang nakasandal ka lang sa kaniya.. yun.. i feel so at peace..

nung pauwi na kami, dumaan kami sa isang burger store at may rose pa.. ano buzz.. parang gusto ko nang maloka at that moment, ok..

tapos yun, hinatid niya ko pauwi.. grabe.. ang masasabi ko lang, first time ko maka-experience ng ganung preparation.. ng ganung effort. yung susunduin ka pa at ihahatid kahit kaya mo naman mag-isa.. tapos may pagka-traditional yung dating with the rose and the family help, pero hindi ka ba kikiligin sa ganung gestures.. grabe.. i just feel so loved..

ayun.. and the importance of the date.. why does it have to be 14th? e kasi monthsary nga daw namin.. one month since the CEAP thing.. so yun.. happy "monthsary" hahahah...Ü