talking resolves things

hmm.. today was a happy day, we were able to discuss a few important things.

it was quite a light day for me. thanks to the amf131 free cut. during our free time together, we bonded again in the roofdeck where it was insanely cold.

we were lucky to have chairs there so we were able to sit on somewhere. we were quite fearing of getting caught by some guards although we werent doing anything wrong. the fact that we were staying there when we're not supposed to, is well, unreasonable...

anyway, i told him i loved leaning on his shoulder. i really feel secured when i do so. although it feels awkward because my face becomes too close to him. its as if i was tempting him to do something that he fears i might be angry about..

another thing, we also agreed to lessen pda (if that's how you would call it since its not really that). its for our own good, i guess.. and he just wants to protect me..

we had another long tight hug before we left leong roofdeck. it felt like ages since we were able to do that, and it felt really nice and comforting.. i also felt his respect for me.. and for his self, i guess.. it is nice.

regarding the kiss thing, i told him, i wanted each to be special (although he argues that every day is special. really now. haha) so as not to lose the meaning. i guess that clears things up..Ü

one sad thing though... i wont be around on his birthday on the 24th.. that is, if our immersion sched will push through on the 23rd-25th.. i dont want to be selfish and prevent my groupmates to have an out-of-town immersion. so there, i had to be away. possibly without permission to use my phone.. i just have to make it up to him. when i told him about it, he wouldnt admit that it would be sad for him.. he was just trying to be understanding, as always.. but it would be really sad..

i just noticed while im writing all these down, my mind seem so fragmented.. nothing seemed coherent.. and everything sounded absurd.. i cant find the proper words to describe how im feeling. its unusual..

btw, it is our 2nd "monthsary" tomorrow. i dont know if he has plans, or if he even remembered.. im still fighting the urge to mention it to him. i dont know what to do. my plans for tomorrow are already hindered by my late execution.. so i guess, we have to do with what is available, which i have no idea what our options are.

on other things, i might be able to get full scholarship again for my fifth year. yey!Ü