mixed emotions

i am feeling anxious now. i know i dont have to, but i cant help myself. its as if things are turned upside down at this point.

i have so many points of reflection for today. any simple thing strikes me to realize something. and it is an overload for me.. too many realizations in one day makes me forget most of them. it seems like a waste..

at this point, i dont feel to inspired to write anything worth of reading material. right now, i am just feeling anxious that things dont seem to be in their right places. i have to study, but just like writing now, i dont feel inspired. i need to feel pressured to start studying for my subjects. plus i need to do a lot of things too.. its frustrating..

i'll just eat this out..

anyway, i remembered what happened earlier today.. my amf131 classroom is just beside his ma101 classroom. before he went to class, he passed by my room to talk to me.. although it was purely business, it was nice to see him early in the morning to freshen up my mind and remove the cobwebs that appeared there so early after my first math class. anyway, after lunch, i noticed that we were wearing matching clothes. it looked funny..black jeans and blue shirt. haha.. i wasnt even planning to wear those pants but i changed my mind last minute this morning. well it happens sometimes these days...

he accompanied me when i went up to kuya alec to copy Yiruma tracks. then i asked him if he would walk me to class.. compromise, since i didnt want him to be late for his class, i settled for the stairs near my room. we walked hand in hand as we trudged along the brick walk, debating why we were holding hands while walking. i won the argument! haha.. well, it was a nice feeling walking with him. i can really feel his warmth, and its absence, well, made me feel alone..

there, i need to get back to my books now, else, i'll be getting straight Ds in all my exams.