what i really wanted to tell him at this point

i just came to church last night.. and it made me think about him again (as if i dont think of him all the time anyway..)

i really wonder what goes through his mind when we go to church together. i mean, its not only a social event that we have to go to together. more importantly, its supposedly a nourishment for the soul. does that really happen to both of us?

although i have a slight idea of what his future plans are, i am still not certain of it. when will he tell me? im becoming so anxious already. although i dont want to speed things up, i also dont want to spend too much time and invest too much energy. i want to put things right this time, but i also dont want to get hurt in the process. i am strong. but sometimes i doubt this side of myself. it is a scary world out there..

things are becoming special already. i dont want to get hurt. but i also want to cherish every moment of it.