good and bad times

today is a weird day.. first day of classes after the christmas break..

it is weird for a number of reasons. one, i am slightly productive. i was able to do most of the things in my to-do list so im happy about it (that includes going to divi on my own early in the morning and experience the morning train rush, talk to people i need to talk to, return the things i borrowed, study a bit for my upcoming report, and organize and plan stuff). two, i was still able to spend time with him despite my (our) busy schedules.. lunch was as always, spent together.. but i had to cut short our bonding afterwards because i need to balance my time. so i was really suprised to see him in RSF when they were a given a free cut in his lab. i was on the verge of giving up on reading the article i was researching on for my report, but when i saw him, my face suddenly lit up (yeah, i really felt it) and i found myself smiling silly (which happens to me most of the time, i noticed these past few days). anyway, i tried not to distract myself as we both did what we were supposed to do.. but when boredom got the better of us, we went out to catch some fresh air (and food stubs too, hehe)

i was a little bothered earlier because of his unusual silence. well, i already observed he's talkative than me most of the time (who would've thought? haha) but today, he just seemed quiet. so i thought something's wrong.. he was just bothered with all the things that need to be done.. i just hope that after all these things are over, we can still enjoy each other's company.

before my class, i had some time for a quick girl-bonding with felo. its been a while since i talked to her. and it was nice sharing things to her. how happy i am, how i manage to shrug off all the stress because i have my perfect stress-buster these days (imagine, just a single mundane thought about him makes me smile..) i am just happy to share these times with him, specially when things go bad.. and this was over some walking time and coffee from mcCafe. (the place looks really good, btw. and it was jam packed!)

ok, after my eco class, he was still there. i wasnt totally expecting him to wait for me for my class and meeting to finish since it would already be late and his class ended so early. although at the back of my mind, i know he'll be waiting for me because he simply wanted to. and he did.. so after our meeting, JJ and I had our sundo waiting for us, a few tables away as we wrapped up our meeting.

it was really chilly on our way home. it was just sad since danielle didnt come with us. probably hated being the third wheel. anyway, we dont mind third wheels that much anyway.. so it was time alone again.. he noticed how silly my face gets when i smile to widely. you cant blame me. i dont want to hide how im feeling.. i guess it just shows too much.. he lent me his jacket because i was feeling really cold then. it was really sweet of him..Ü

anyway, for the bad time.. he wasnt feeling so sure of himself. and i cant blame him. this time happens often to people. you just need someone to assure you that you are not worthless and you are important. and that is how exactly i feel about him.. although i told him as sincerely as i could, it still depends on him if he will believe it. then, i felt kinda bad because i felt helpless.. i had no idea what to do to make him feel better.. i want to spend more time with him to talk things over if he needs it, but i had to be home because it was already getting late..

silence as we were walking. i guess, both of us were thinking. and its difficult to share your thoughts specially when they are too scattered and vague that they seem too pointless.. i wanted to tell him how significant his role is in my life now. and i was feeling embarassed to tell him upfront although i know it would mean more if i did. i guess i didnt have that much guts. anyway, i decided i would text him later once i found the words..

after i ate dinner, i decided to tell him what i really wanted to tell him, but i received his message first which melted my heart. i wasnt helpless earlier. and it felt good that he feels somehow the same way i do.

so there, i let go of the troubles i had in mind.. i didnt have to worry about us because we talk things over.. we share times of depression and happiness..

one thing i also liked about us is that he constantly irritates me jokingly so i reserve my right to be mataray. its fun.Ü

*i wasnt able to give him enough credit for being so mature at this particular moment. but i really admire him for that. he was able to sort through his own issues and i was just there to give him the right push.. i was happy about it.*