Leadership Blues

in just a few days, we'll be knowing who will replace us as the officers of Gabay.. i dont exactly know how i'll feel towards it.. i am quite worried if some people might decide not to run, or if the wrong people might decide to run, and eventually win. but of course, my assessment of people are very limited. whatever happens during their term is still up to them.

looking back, its as if my own experience of pre-elections are still very clear in my memory.. the anxiety of discerning if i would run or not. plus my own parents' weight on that decision. my fear of being unable to balance my time. fear of not having enough time for myself. failing. falling short.

well, those things happened, and more. but in summary, it was a very fruitful experience. i truly love my colleagues for never giving up on me, on us. SABOG is truly the best. i love each and every one of them. although i am quite regretful for not being able to deepen our relationships with each other, specially with Soph and Danielle. my guess is that, we are fearing too much about our personal relationships getting in the way of our professional work. either way, it was nice to work with them. and in "losing" them, i was able to open myself to other people who are willing to support me in times of uncertainty.

i am not sure if we have done well as officers of the org. i admit i had my shortcomings. it was very difficult to balance everything. but it was worth all the stress, the sleepless overnights, the tears, sweat and blood, the sugar rush, money, pigging out, all nighters, endless digression, UBEs. well, all these things are part only within the ExeCom.

the members are my continued inspiration. projects may have failed. turnout may be low. budget could have been a deficit. PICs may have gone AWOL. whatever happened, those are only things of the past. what's important is that those who were involved learned something new. the participants enjoyed.

i remembered what inspired me to write this entry. i was surprised one time when i was checking my email, a COA announcement read that SABOG was nominated as the best ExeCom for the year. i was surprised. i recognized that we have been really sabog in our term, who wouldve thought that someone would think otherwise. anyway, it was overwhelming to know that somebody appreciated our efforts despite that.

however, it is not the award (if ever we were lucky enough), nor the recognitions from any other group or institution. it is knowing in your heart that you have done something good for the betterment of other people. to know that you have inspired others to continue your efforts. its leaving a legacy and knowing that somehow, someone will pass it on to others as well..

its about really doing what you love and loving what you do.