whatever happens, he's there for me

my weekend was stressful. i have never been in this much stress in weeks. i have been handling myself properly until yesterday when i broke down. it rarely happens. and when it does, well, it is heartbreaking to see me cry that much because i rarely cry these days. i just came to that point when i cant handle things anymore.

anyway, that is another thing of the past. seriously, at this point of time, i seem to have no regard over things that are rational. its as if i am acting on mere whim. whatever my heart feels like doing i do so, without thinking twice if its right or wrong.

anyway, i feel so alone here at home. as if everybody's ganging up on me to make my life really miserable. that's the reason why i broke down. but despite that, i am happy to have someone who would back me up. someone who would continue to inspire me. to set things straight for me. someone to cheer me up, to assure me that things will really get better in the long run. someone who strengthens me and reminds me of my abilities.

although we still have a lot of things left undiscussed, i hope we could find time to discuss all these. for now, i am happy that we are together supporting each other. time is really a scarce commodity these days..

he did something before we went home. i kinda hinted what it was but i was in my un-thinking mode. how it felt? well, it kinda felt nice, but funny, i dont know how to describe it. i guess he was still really hesitant about it. for me however, it is still not an issue. i want to take things slow. i just dont want him to be influenced by his peers. unless he really thinks that it is necessary, then i guess, we have to talk things over...

i love being around him, its like an addiction i have little control over. the weather's really cold around here and having his arms around me warms me up. his smell is like an assuring scent that things will be ok no matter what.

i so missed blogging

for one, im in school now.. after resting for five days at home, thus extending my long weekend, im back to my feet now.. im so happy to be back.. and so psyched to see him again..

although i wasnt able to see him for two days, we constantly keep in touch anyway so it made the painful days bearable, really..

in fact, when i was writhing in pain because of my antibiotic (apparently, i didnt eat enough for a heavy meal so my stomach started to react violently, i had to puke my lunch. it was really really painful. plus i hate puking, so it made the feeling a lot worse..), i had to distract myself so i could zone out the pain. i thought of happy moments. our conversation last night and the nights before, times we were together. and it really helped. got me the distraction i needed. before that, i was crying in pain (to think that i have a very high tolerance for pain), afterwards, almost no pain..

bad thing about it was, i couldnt eat too well.. im still afraid of the possibility of vomiting again. however, come lunch time, i wouldnt have much of a choice since i have to take the effing antibiotic again.. price i have to pay to get well soon enough (i hope!)

today, much as i would like to spend so much time with him, i have to catch up on my academics since im way behind already.. two prob sets due tomorrow and i wasnt able to work on those since i was still recuperating until yesterday.. but i still cant force myself to do a lot today.. i still have to be careful, else i'll be missing friday's party (oohh, what a lot at stake, hahahah)