four thoughts

i am expecting this will be a long blog entry. we'll see..

number1: we havent been talking to each other for quite some time already. although i didnt mind it that much. it means we'll have a lot to talk about when we see each other again. besides, we update each other when we have to. it is enough, i think..

i really want to see him soon. i hope tomorrow.

number 2: PNK

i don't mind the new responsibility. but everytime i think about it, this thought always comes in mind: never the big boss, always the second in command. i dont want to think that way, but it is quite true. i dont know if i truly deserve the position. we are in this stage when people are not quite active. are the skills i learned in Gabay applicable here? i cant tell. but at least now, i am certain that God will not forsake me here.

number 3: dad

this frustrates me, really. i guess this is just a test of patience for me again. i love my family deeply. but i dont know how far that love can take me.

this is what happened. dad is pissed with me. i am pissed with him as well, and i dont know why. my mom's theory is that, dad cant take out his anger to anyone at home anymore so he's just taking it out on me. unfair i know. its just, sad on my part

we'll see in the years to come what will happen..

the future is certainly a scary thing. but with a ready heart, and a determined mind, nothing is too scary to overcome.

number 4: i cant bear this anymore. i really need to talk to him to clear things out. i am quite torn on how i would open it to him. option 1: be mean, option 2: be subtle and sensitive. i am opting for option 2. however, i dont know when i could talk to him. i wont be seeing him for quite sometime (which is a relief!) but i want to get this over with soon.

honestly, i pity the guy. he is so ickingly devoted. however, all his efforts don't work for me for one simple reason. i just dont like him the way he likes me. i can be really stubborn at times.

so there, i will try to be nice. and i really hope he leaves me alone for good.

i am planning to return everything he has given me. its such a shame. gawd. i am mean.

this post is not so long after all

excited, happy.. but too much...

adsa xmas party kagabi at kumanta yung Gabay carolers.. first time ko sila marinig.. at magaling sila.. as in, sobrang para akong sasabog sa tuwa nung marinig ko sila kasi ang galing talaga.. tapos nung kinanta nila yung Emmanuel, parang hindi nakapagpigil si Sir RSA at sinabayan sila ng kahon. ang galing.. wala lang.. amazed talaga ako.. at alam na ng ADSA people ang about samin, pero i dont mind.. kinikilig nga ako. (hay, ang landi..)

bukas, magbbonding kami.. hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin namin. surprise daw. oh well.. sana mag-enjoy kami.. wala akong idea talaga..

haaayyy... pero kailangan ko rin mag-aral.. balance!!!

wala lang, kinakabahan lang ako sa fact na baka may mga napapabayaan na ako.. like myself.. ewan ko.. yun. kailangan mag-aral..

naalala ko yung "quiz" na pina-take sakin ni lorenz.. parang totoo na siya ngayon.. taker ako, babaguhin ko siya.. pero hindi naman masyado.. sa tingin ko naman, ok pa kami.. sana.. gusto ko siya kausapin, pero tungkol saan. hindi, gusto ko lang siyang kasama. hahaha.. haynakokarennagigingmasyadokanangdependent. masama ito.

may isa pa pala akong pinagtataka.. bakit dito pa rin ako nagbblog kahit na hindi naman na ako masyadong naglilihim? hhahaha