random thoughts

on my bed

as i lay on my bed
i saw the stuff around
on my blue sheets
that snuggle close to me
as i go to sleep

that white dog
in a silly bunny suite
rests under my chin
accompanies me
as i drift off and dream

a little brown monkey
lies next to my cheek
his smell lingers on it
keeps me sane on his absence
reminds me im not alone

those blue and orange heads
bobbing up and down
resting on a purple heart
says yes to all my queries
agrees on my insanities

i feel him around me
in my sleep
i am not abandoned
my nightmares are scared away
frees me to dream of him


***



lights dance around us
stars above our heads
canopy of trees
green grass
his arms around me
perfect.

thinking thoughts

hmmm... it is starting to dawn on me.. depressing thoughts.. after the many elating days, its gone.. we're apart now.

come to think of it..im not the kind who is soo dependent on my partner. fine i miss him,but not to the point that i dont feel like doing anything because he's not with me. or just wishing he's with me wherever i am. as if i can't stand on my own two feet. its not me. i feel alienated...

sometimes i think, he really handles things more maturely than i do. and its weird. am i really on this stage of life where everythings gets turned inside out. from the organize freak to the happy-go-lucky. from the strong and independent to the needy and immature. what has happened to me? can falling make me change this much?

but come to think of it, time apart means time for myself. time to find myself again. some soul-searching.. right. i need to use this time wisely because come january, i dont want to be alienated again...


ok so back to the happy and kilig updates..

we had our supposed last day together last friday.. as promised, we again stayed in bel field, him ditching the caroling night which made me feel really guilty but he promised he'll explain to the caroling people. we ate the food we brought. green mangoes as promised.. although we didnt buy any bel field food as we intended to. and then we watched the stars, and the lights until they were turned off. and hugged, and hugged some more.. sigh.. record of having the longest, sweetest, weirdest hug ever. he gave me a gift. a monkey i'll be naming after him. i demanded him to spray his cologne on the monkey so i can still smell him all the time (although i miss terribly his old smell). and i'll be putting him beside me as i go to sleep...Ü

first time we held hands. his hands are so big. and very warm, too.

then, come sunday, i wasnt so sure if he could come. but he did. and mom saw us together and thought something's up. i knew it. mothers can really feel what's going on with their daughters. oh well...

then that was it. that was the last time we'll be seeing each other until God knows when. it saddens me. i miss him terribly right now. but i have to be strong. on my own. i dont have to depend on him all the time..

i heart bel field

ang ganda ng bel field.. at wala nang mas gaganda pa sa view pag kasama mo ang taong nagpapasaya sayo..

haayy, enuf said.. aral mode na..Ü