feels like home again

last saturday, i received an invitation from a friend i haven't heard from for such a long time. surprisingly, my dad allowed me to go to his party. dad has always been strict with things like these. and besides, high school friends are not in his top priority list of friendships to keep.

anyway, it's not important anymore.

what made me reaaallly happy was that i was able to see my "math friends" again. team quesci has always been like family to me. can't wait to give each of them rib-breaking hugs. its difficult to find people who share the same interests as you. specially if other people would think that you are beyond normal. having special skills, enriching talents and deep passion and love for math is a different formula to concoct. and once you have all of these together, it is difficult not to get hooked to it. its like a drug that your system keeps on searching for lest, it becomes restless.

its been a while since i felt that familiar bond among us. although we have taken slightly different paths, one link still binds us all together. despite the endless taunts for me to transfer school, i still want to stick to my decision while i still can.

i love being with them. they revive my passion for what i have always loved doing. (by the way, i haven't forgotten that damn cube root thing. i haven't figured it out yet.. damn! i feel so stupid). now, i feel like sticking to my course doesn't feel too hard anymore.

besides our similarity, another thing that keeps us intact is our friendship. yes, it is something beyond passion. it is what the heart feels. friendship that has turned to familial bond. i haven't felt that warm feeling for quite some time and i only feel this when i am with team quesci. maybe jireh's right. i know that i impose a specific aura so people would see me in that way. but with them, i don't have to pretend to be someone else so that people would approve of me. i just have to be myself, but still loved and cared for.

bored..

You Can Only Type One Word Not as easy as you might think...
1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? huh?
3. Your hair? wet
4. Your grandma? sleeping
5. Your father? sleeping
6. Your favorite item? pc?
7. Your dream last night? forgot
8. Your favorite drink? water.
9. Your dream car? jimmy
10. The room you are in? cluttered
11. Your diet? gone..
12. Your fear? nothing
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Who did you hang out with last night? none
15. What you're not? skinny
16. Muffin? course
17: One of your wish list items? sneakers
19. The last thing you did? music
20. What are you wearing? glasses
22. Your favorite book? math?
23. The last thing you ate? corned beef
24. Your life? forward
25. Your mood? steady
26. Your friends? miss
27. What are you thinking about right now? bath
28. Your car? none.
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Last summer? swimming
31. Your relationship status? single.. and happy?
32. What is on your tv? off
33. When is the last time you laughed? last night
34. Reason you last cried? forgot

shooting star..

Many times you’ve hurt me
Too many times you’ve fooled me
But you’ll be doing it again
So many times we’ve spent in
Too many lives we’ve been in
But you’re doing it again
To me the nights have fallen
The lights are on and off again
Is there a chance that you won’t die
Won’t die with me tonight?
Like a shooting star to where you are
Are we too late? Am I too soon?
You’ll make it through, you’ve gone too far
Will you ever be my star?
I’m holding on to nothing
No reason worth for living
I’m calling out to you
If it’s the only way to keep you
Then I don’t want to break you
I’m losing grip again
With you the nights have fallen
The lights are on and off again
Is there a chance that you won’t die
Won’t die with me tonight?
Like a shooting star to where you are
Are we too late? Am I too soon?
You’ll make it through, you’ve gone too far
Will you ever be my star?
You’re a shooting star to where you are
Are we too late? Am I too soon?
You’ll make it through, you’ve gone too far
Will you ever be my star?
Will you ever be my star?
You’re walkin’ away
I’ll be seeing you through a satellite
If you go
Then I’m walkin’away.

hale songs..
ouch..

the notebook

the notebook is a classic cheesy romance novel, written exquisitely by nicholas sparks. i commend him for his beautiful poetry and the appropriate way of writing the story. it definitely tugged at my heartstrings, however, reminding me of my own still sad love escapade. i found it quite similar to what i have undergone, but i have no idea yet if it would end similarly to the notebook's ending. it was too damn sweet. sometimes i find it hard to believe that such love exists. love despite the short encounter, but still full of meaning and promise and truth that stood even the longest test of time. anyway, it is a work of fiction. but a tiny glint of hope is bossoming in my heart. telling me that maybe, just maybe, my story could be like allie and noah's.

that is why i am still wondering now if i would completely let you go. i am still afraid to pick up the phone and dial your number just to know how you are doing. it is difficult for me for i have already tried twice and got disappointed at both times. but still, i see no effort on your part (besides your checking on my friendster profile). i am not sure if you are giving me the space that i asked from you. but this is too much space, i guess. i could still remember the last time we saw each other. it was magical. unbelievable. yet it happened. although i still feel confused and i refuse to give it much thought, one thing is clear, we still respond the same way we did months ago, before we bade each other goodbye. and now, i have no idea if it still the same. if i am waiting for something wonderful, or i am just wasting my life waiting for nothing.

it is painful. so i just keep myself busy. work myself to death in order to forget. (i got this from the notebook, too. when gus told noah that people who work too hard are either crazy, stupid or bitter).. maybe i am bitter. it was my fault. and i admit it. it is hard for me as it is to you. you may not believe my reasons. but i still hold on to the promise that we had, if you still remember. because i still do. no matter how stupid and pathetic it sounds.

i'm still waiting.
i'm bleeding inside.
still hoping for spring to come.
when bumblebees and butterflies fly together
as they fill the gardens with color and life.

a funny coincidence:
while i was typing this down, my shuffled playlist played my favorite stonefree single.

how normal am i?

You Are 35% Normal

You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

well, as if this site is reliable, hehe..Ü

mga alaala

binabagtas namin ang kahabaan ng edsa patungong north avenue..
hindi ko na maalala kung kelan ang huling pagkakataon na dumaan ako dito..
isang paglalakbay na napakapamilyar..
at nag-iwan ng maraming masasaya at masasakit na mga alaala..


the block
happy feet
fully booked
crinkles
parking lot


sm north
pizza hut
greenwich
burger king
burloloy
karimadon
ice cream
quickly
filigrenasia
cinderella
national book store
sari sari store
mcdo
jollibee
papemelroti
cinema 7
brownies inc
ice monster
chowking
eiko
silverworks
jc buendia
bearhugs

sm annex
kfc
yellow cab
beagle house
club synergy
egg
dairy queen
maldita
pink soda
jamaican patties

muñoz
mercury drug
belman laboratories
research

baesa
sa iyo
genie in a bottle
mercury drug
mcdo
tarpauline
toad

congressional ave
jo's chicken inasal
gazebo royale
jose rizal
spot

tandang sora
ptl 333
mcdo
poinsettia
spaghetti with meatballs
glue and water
florsheim
christmas lights

mindanao ave
7 cattleyas
burger machine
q plaza
circle c
sc
taxi
spareribs


quirino ave
hbc
bec2
gumising
jingle bell rock
soprano
cat
packed lunch
north cemetery
movie
november1


kayraming alaala
kahit gusto kong takbuhan, kalimutan at lumayo sa kanilang lahat,
tuwing mapapadaan ako, bumabalik ang lahat at patuloy na nagpaparamdam sa akin..