I remember what happened to me back in fourth year when I had dengue..
My world suddenly stopped..
I had a lot to do, but I left them for me to recuperate and be back on my feet again, hopefully..
While I was at the hospital, I thought of just dying and leaving all.. everything.. I thought then that my life has already been lived to the fullest possible.. I had friends, I had my family.. I had a not-boyfriend.. but I realized that leaving them would hurt them.. and that would be the last thing in the world that I wanted to do.. and besides, I thought, I was still too young to die.. life wouldn’t be fair if ever that happened..

Now, im feeling the same way.. everything is just too f*cked up.
I have so many responsibilities, I still have to study too. Do my other duties for home and church.. and of course, I need time to rest..
Time is such as scarce commodity..
But even if time could be bought, I wouldn’t have enough money to do so..
Such miserable, miserable thought..

I listened to this song while I was scanning through the songs that are waiting to be learned as soon as I had the time to play the guitar..

Chasing cars (chorus)

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and
Just forget the world?

I wish I could just do that again.. I want to leave everything and forget all the things that I have committed myself to do..
I know I can do it.. but my limitations are already pulling their weight on this already strong anchor..
I don’t know if I could still hold on and push through or if I just have to let go?


I want to be back to my old panicky self..
But I need to worry less
Do more
Be inspired and empowered
Leave the excess baggage..

Going back to the song.. if ever I just “lay here”, who would be willing to lie with me just to forget the world?